3:16
It’s a Thursday night and you’re locked up in a cold, barely lit cell, alone and hungry. Feel it. Feel the cool air brushing between the locks of your hair. Hear the people running and shouting as they gather around in the court square. Hear the sound of your heart beating faster and faster. You’re trying really hard to remain calm, but you know deep down that this is it. This is the end. Feel the sweat on your brow, the nausea building in your stomach. You pray to God hoping that He would hear you. Silently crying, begging, for a miracle. Never have you ever wanted God to show Himself more than now. You start to notice your palms are getting clammy, your arms are getting tired, your bones begin to shake. How did I get here? Despite all of this, the thing that hits you the most, is the fact that your closest friend just betrayed you. You keep replaying the look on his face as you were beaten and chained. All he did was stand there. No words were said. No help was offered. No eye contact. Just a “hey, what’s up” and a kiss.
If you could have the chance to say anything to him (or her) it’d probably be something like: “How could you? I’ve been riding with you for how long and this, this is how you do me? Me!? What did I ever do? My life is on the line right now, because of you. I could lose my life and all for what? $600?” You go back and forth between crying and being angry. This is supposed to be your friend. Your ride or die; and they sold you out. For 30 shekels of silver.
Fast forward a few hours and you’re walking down a hot road, leaving behind a trail of blood. Dust is blowing in your eyes; blood is dripping down your face. Your arms are tired and heavy because of the miles you’ve trod, carrying your own cross. The robe you’re wearing is causing your wounds to burn more than they already do. Listen to the crowd as they call you names. Feel the blunt forces of rocks hitting against your already battered body. The soldier next to you that’s supposed to be keeping the crowd at bay, isn’t really doing his job. Why would he? You’re being pushed around and spat on. You feel the whips against the back of your legs. “Why are you hitting me? I’m walking as best as I can. Why are you telling me to walk faster? ... I can’t. I have no more strength. I can’t even see the ground beneath me. Wait…. How’d I end up like this? Did I fall again?” You find yourself, thinking back to the night before. You remember the look on your friend’s face and your heart just aches a little bit more. There’s nothing you can do, nothing you can say. One of the closest people to you did you so grimy and they’re not even here to see it through. You knew it would happen, but it still hurts just the same.
A few more miles and you’ve reached your dreaded destination. The hill they call Golgotha. The hill where you’ll breathe your last breath. Your eyes fill with tears, your heart begins to ache more than you ever thought possible and God? Where is He? Your enemies strip you of all that’s left of your dignity and hang you up high for all the city to see. You look at your friends, your family; your neighbors, the man you met walking down the road with you - he helped to carry your cross. You look to your left and to your right and wonder, when will it all end? You yell out to God one last time, hoping that He’d hear you - maybe this time it’ll be different, but there’s silence. Not even a gentle breeze to kiss your cheek. Just the sting of the nails holding you up. The hours seem like years and your breathing is labored. You can feel it all slipping away and again you wonder - when will it all end? You take one last look at every person you love. You think of every face you will never see again and smile the last smile they’ll ever see you make. And with all the breath you can muster, you whisper, it is finished.
Finally, you open your eyes and realize that it was all a dream. As you prepare your cup of coffee, you hear a still small voice say, “You may not see me, but I will always be with you. I am as close to you as the mention of my name. And if I had to do it all again, I’d do it all again.”
“For God so loved the world, that He gave his only Son...”