Love Sees All of You
In 2002 I was in a car accident where I lost my front tooth. For many months I had to live life with a missing top tooth. Anytime I laughed my missing tooth was louder than my laugh. I was embarrassed to smile, I never wanted to show my teeth because of this missing tooth. But I had a girlfriend at the time who actually didn’t mind me missing a tooth, she actually liked it. When telling the story people would often say, “love is blind.” But is it really? Does love actually close its eyes and/or ignore all of our flaws, shortcomings, insecurities, etc. so that it can actually fully enjoy us? Is this really love? How do we know what love actually is? Who taught you about love?
As a child I was never taught about love verbally. My parents never sat me down and taught me anything about love. However, they showed me love. I’ll never forget the day I got arrested for smoking weed in the streets. My father, whom I did not live with, came to talk to me. I was scared. I was expecting the worst. My heart would beat with every step I took towards him. I was ashamed of what I had done, I didn’t even want to look at him. He raised his hands towards me and instead of smacking me in the face (as I deserved) he hugged me and embraced me ( I did not deserve). He spoke to me calmly and in the end of our conversation he gave me money and told me he loved me. He knew all that I had done and yet he still chose to show me love and give me a gift. I deserved to get hit or even have something taken away from me. Instead, he showed me grace. He didn’t turn a blind eye, he acknowledged me and loved me through my flaws. I was 14 at the time and had no knowledge of God, but I would later learn that God was showing me His nature through my father (who is not a believer by the way). God was foreshadowing what I would learn 10 years later: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 ESV) My father taught me love through grace and mercy.
One of a child’s fears are their parents not loving them. So they get scared after they do something wrong. There was a time when my daughter would always ask my wife and I if we still loved her after she did something wrong. I had to keep telling her, “Mija, I loved you before you were even born. There is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you. I don’t love you anymore or less because of your actions or behaviors. I love you because of who you are, my daughter. I have always loved you, even before you were born.” I want to show my children that love sees all of your behavior and still loves you. I want to show my daughters’ God’s love which Ephesians 2:4 speaks of in past tense, “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of his great love that he had for us ...” (CSB) Don’t get me wrong, my kids still need to be disciplined whenever they do something wrong but that too is love. After all, even the Lord disciplines the one He loves (Heb. 12:6 CSB). But my daughter actually believed the lie that I would stop loving her because I saw her flaws. But real love sees and continues to love despite our flaws. In all of this, my children actually teach me about love through my position instead of my works.
My girlfriend who loved me without my tooth became my wife. We were 14 when we first met (she was actually one of the first people to know about my arrest). She should’ve left me along time ago (and she did at one point) but God… God has definitely shown me His love through my wife. Sure, I experienced it through my parents and kids but my wife has shown me a unique love. We were with each other before we came to Christ so she saw a different me. She has seen all of my past flaws and sees all of my present flaws. She sees my pride and my socks on the floor, and yet she still loves me. She has forgiven me more than 70 times 7 and still loves me. She has seen all my ugly and never turned a blind eye. She makes it very clear that she sees it, and yet she still loves me. My wife has definitely taught me that love is not blind and in order to be truly loved, you must allow yourself to be completely seen.
In the end, real love sees all of us and still loves us. Love does not wait for the filtered us to arrive to begin loving us. Love sees the messy hair, “stank breath” us and still welcomes us. Love waits for us to get it together and still loves us through our process and progress. Love sees us messed up and waits for us to get back up. Love does not laugh at us when we’re crying but instead feels for and with us. Love doesn’t love us any less because of our wrongdoings — love is patient. And this is God, God is love. God loves us so much that He gave us His only begotten Son so that we can dwell with him forever in love. So in the end, even when I did not know or care about God He has been teaching me love through different people in my life. But now I know the greatest knowledge of what love is is found in Jesus Christ.
God sees all of you.