Redeeming His Narrative

“It’s a boy” I screamed with excitement. God’s favor had met us giving us exactly what we prayed for. But as the rejoicing went silent and the tears of joy dried up, fear seized me and I repeated gently, “It’s a boy, it’s a black boy.” And in that moment I was not only full of gratitude, but faced with the reality that while I would love and value our little one, he would be growing up in a world filled with sin. One that will not only reject the very color of his skin, but the gender he was born into and the honor he’d freely get from us would be something that men and women of all races would be resistant to give. 

Let’s face it, the many stories circling through media depict men of color particularly black men, as beastly bodies not worth living. Their lives are taken away at the hand of a gun barreling down their backs forcing them into untimely deaths. And ladies, in the same token of our affections for all the brothers we’ve lost, social media feeds our minds with memes that depict our men as the ones that don’t give or deserve respect. Timelines full of the stories of broke, jobless, cheating men who don’t treat us like the Queens we deserve to be treated as. And let’s not forget our personal narratives, mine speaks of the family friend that inappropriately touched and interacted with the helpless young girl who couldn’t make sense of what was happening to her. It wasn’t until she was older that she found her voice through the work of Jesus Christ in her life. So with all that, we carry and believe the narratives we’ve been told, not realizing how these stories and experiences subconsciously impact our affections toward men. 

I sit back and I wonder, will my son, a black boy, be met with the above judgments and criticisms formed by men, women and other platforms? Will he one day be placed into the category of undeserving because of the impressions black men before him have left on women? As a mother, but also as a woman that has been fed the above narratives about black men, I want to speak to that experience and what it’s spiritually rooted in. I speak these things in hopes that my son will get to experience #blackboyjoy influenced by his parents, and be embraced by women who are challenged through God's Grace to love him and those that look like him. 

Now ladies, no matter your story or the disappointment in our men that may accompany it, ultimately what we’re experiencing is the result of the fall; the enmity brought between men and women that stems from the early book of Genesis (Ref: Gen 3:16 and 4:7 CSB). An experience where sin clouds the equal value given to men and women who were created in the image and likeness of God (Ref: Gen 1:26-28 CSB) and forces them to attempt their hands at subduing each other when they were created to subdue the earth. Enmity takes manhood and womanhood and disconnects it from Gods initial purpose. This shows itself today in the sinful acts of violence toward women, disrespect toward men, the misunderstanding of domestic roles and the lists goes on. While we don’t live in the time which Genesis was written, it seems as though history is repeating itself and we’re currently in a place where our pain has to be met with love for our neighbor, the gracious nature of our Lord and the strength within us through the Holy Spirit to redeem what existed before the fall. 

Let us not read this absentmindedly, forgetting that trauma is meant to be healed, and healing takes time, effort and dedication. Let us not read this with the same stories fed to us that as women, we should carry our men on our backs. And let us not read this as a call for us to mute our voices for the safety of our men. Rather, let us read this with a heart of reconciliation. Considering that despite the manner in which the lives of our men have been taken, no matter how media depicts them and in light of our own experiences, our Father in heaven seeks redemption. God is yearning for women to meet men with a love and kindness that is influenced by the softening and reshaping of their hearts, complete only by the one true Jesus Christ, our Lord.

As a woman that has been ransomed by God in this season to consider how I will raise my son and how I want him to be received, I ask myself a series of questions. How do we reclaim the view of men before the fall and redeem the narrative? How do we honor our men? How can my son through the resistance feel embraced? By receiving a fair shot of the examination of his heart. By the embrace of compassion in response to  the rejection he faces from the world. By being met with the honesty of the pain inflicted by men that look like him, but with the opportunity to meet it with love. By having the chance to not be seen as less of a man when his affections are expressed. By having the space to pursue God without the distraction of lust. By being met with truth and grace after his mistakes. By having the freedom to be broken and reminded of the one who heals. By being met by a woman that loves God with all her heart, her soul, and her mind, able to love herself all-in-one and in turn watch God pour that love out on him (Ref: Matt 22: 37-39). By being told that in these confines he is enough. And by being met with the commitment to see this world as it was before the fall. 

Whoever is reading this, this is a call to you. To examine the narrative that has developed in your mind and heart. To explore the many truths in the Word of God around biblical manhood and womanhood. To pray for the mutual enrichment of the men and women God created us to be. To evaluate the personal work that has to be done. To look inward, heal outward, and give and receive agape love so we can in turn love our men. The men whose very being is figuratively and literally killed by the embrace of this world. 

From the desk of a mother of, a black boy, a future godly black man, sealed with a single tear.