I Have A Dream
I have a dream...
That one day, I’ll look back at all my past hurts, smile (or cry joyous tears) and say, “God, You did it. Just like You said You would” instead of me saying, “I did it. I allowed God to do it in me.” There’s a difference between the two. The first says and acknowledges God as sovereign and fulfilling in me what He didn’t have to. The latter is more self-focused and proud. That even though I do have to make space for God to do what He does, it’s not about me. It’s about Him.
I have a dream...
That one day, I’ll meet my imperfectly perfect match. One day I’ll see you sitting across from me and smile at your handsomeness (and sexiness - is that okay to say here?). I’m a little afraid to meet you. I may have met you already and didn’t even know it, but I know that you’re waiting for me. Wherever you are. Whatever relationship you’re in right now. God set you aside for me and I for you. I dream of a man who will give my future what I didn’t have by blood, but gained by grace. I dream that you will give my son, my daughter - a home. I dream of a father who’s present in both body and mind. A father who fights for them and a father who loves them unconditionally, the way my Father has loved me.
I have a dream...
That one day, I’ll look at a globe or map and it won’t whisper pain anymore. I’ll walk the streets and I won’t hear cries of racism, words of hatred and I won’t see signs of misplaced patriotism. People will stand together as one instead of kneeling divided in pieces. I may not physically be here to see it, but God spoke it. “Though there is mourning now, joy comes in the morning (paraphrase Psalm 30:5).” There will be a day, where children will laugh again. The trees won’t die in the air we breathe. Abused wives and angry husbands will smile. Broken families will no longer be broken. Sickness will be a thing of the past. There will be a day, where I’ll look and cry tears of happiness because I’ll remember when I wrote these words and I will rejoice to actually see it with my own eyes.
I have a dream...
That one day, I’ll see my birth mom again. I haven’t seen her since I was two years old. I’ve lived my whole life without her, but I believe in a God who restores and brings things back together. I have my moments where I doubt, I won’t lie, but when that happens, God, help my unbelief. What the enemy meant for evil, You promised to turn around for good. She’s a thousand miles away, in another state, but no distance is too far for You; for me and my household. Separation and brokenness have been apart of my family tree for generations. All of that ends with me.
I have a dream...
That one day, I’ll look in the eyes of my Creator and cry because I never thought I’d see Him. I hear You’re beautiful and captivating. It’s not enough to just read about it and have faith that’s it’s true. I want to see it. For me. Like Moses, like Jacob. I also hear You’re terrifying, so, please, don’t give me a heart attack. Just a, “Hey, don’t worry. It’s Me,” will suffice. Just to sit at Your feet... To walk by Your side... To see You smile and to hear You laugh... One day, I’ll meet the Man who has loved me my whole life. I just want to walk up and hug You. I always say, “When I get to heaven, I’ve got a lot of questions for You, buddy. Like why did You think roaches were a good idea? And flying ones at that? Not cute, my man. Not. Cute. And what’s up with those period cramps? I SUFFERED FOR YEARS!” But I think, I’ll just want to be held by You. In silence. You don’t even have to say a word.
I have a dream...
That one day, I won’t be afraid anymore. I won’t stress and panic about how I’m gonna make rent this month or how and/or if I’m going to eat today. I won’t feel pain or suffer tendonitis from doing the things I love. My heart will beat in joy and confidence rather than emotional pain and insecurity. My smile will be genuine and real instead of a cover because I’m falling apart inside. My feet won’t hurt, my legs won’t limp and my body won’t ache. My hair won’t grey and my nails won’t break (pesky little things). The people that hated me will love You instead. The people I hurt, will see Your grace in me. The people I avoided and ran from will see Your face. The people I’ve loved and have loved me, will rejoice in You because of what You’ve done in me. They all will see me, die on a cross, and watch even more as You cover me. Like Mary, in the midst of my accuser(s), You cover me. In the midst of a crowd that’s ready to throw stones, You bend down to cover me.
I have a dream...
That one day, someone will finish what I started. Rachel Joy Scott (victim of the 1999 Columbine Highschool shooting) once said, “Change the world impacting one life at a time.” Start with one and a ripple effect will happen. One day, someone will read this and will be impacted by every word. One day, God will touch you and then you’ll go out and reach someone else. I’ll probably never meet you, but I’m thankful for you. You are the reason behind my courage. You are the soul behind my limited bravery. You are the reason why I’ve pressed on, cried through every letter, laughed at my own silly comments. You are it. In your heart, God heard you and gave you me. In my prayers, God heard me and gave me you.
I have a dream... and it’s a good one.