For Such A Time As This
“A lady never plays in the dirt.”
If you’re anything like me, you’ve heard these words being said to you by at least one person from your family. Your mom, an aunt, a grandmother. You may have even heard it from someone not related to you at all, possibly even a man. If you’re anything like me, you defied the status quo by doing exactly what they said a “lady” should never do.
Allow me to invite you on a little journey down memory lane. My first time holding a worm in my hand was at the age of six. I rolled around in dirt from my backyard because I loved the way the soil felt between my fingers. I had trunks full of Hot-wheels and building blocks but Barbie dolls? I hated them. So much so, I used to destroy them. Poor Barbie was mutilated as an outright act of rebellion. “Stop buying me Barbie dolls or you’ll continue to find an arm in your oven”. Eventually, my family got the picture.
In elementary school, I was the tomboy. While most girls were drawing on the ground with chalk and braiding each other’s hair, I was running around playing with the boys; skinning my knees and putting fresh holes in my clothes. Everyday, I came home with a new cut in a new place. Re-skinning barely healed knees, cutting open my palms and my chin.
In high school, I was the homie. The girl that played basketball and spades. The girl that knew all about the “conquests” and the “wishes”. I was the girl, girls disliked because I was friends with the cute boys. I was the girl who was always in sweatpants, whose hair was always in a bun, and who gave the smoothest dabs. While most girls were trying out makeup tutorials, I was too busy getting cozy with my blanket and catching up on Zs.
As an adult, not much has changed. I’m still the tomboy, still the homie. I’m still the girl who’d rather wear leggings and sweatpants than dresses and skirts. I’m still too lazy to beat my face and yes, I still value nap time. You, still, will find me surrounded by a group of guys no matter where I go. School, out with friends, work.
As an entertainment technician (ENT), I constantly find myself being one out of a handful of women on a team of 15+ men. I always find myself surrounded by (some) men who start off trying to puff their chests but then later find that I can do the same job, sometimes quicker and better. I’ve experienced men walking away from me, ignoring my direction. I’ve experienced being objectified in the workplace; heard the “you’re too pretty to be doing this” comments. I’ve felt the stares, assumed the thoughts that were so accurate, I could’ve been inside the brain myself.
All of this and you’d think, I’d choose a different career. One where I didn’t have to worry about breaking my nail too deep or falling off a ladder. But none of this has stopped me nor has it held me back. Being an ENT in both the “world” and church settings, comes with it’s challenges but it also comes with many blessings. I have been fortunate to be surrounded by male technicians who have encouraged me, challenged me and pushed me to be better and to do more. They don’t know who they are but they’ve made me a better technician which in turn makes me a better me. I’ve learned to have thick skin, to be bold, and to stand strong regardless of my age or my gender.
As I think back over my life, a woman I’ve always looked up to is Esther. Esther was a young Jewish woman who got wrapped up in something, she probably didn’t even want to be apart of. Orphaned as a young girl, she was raised by her cousin, Mordecai who was known to have saved the life of the King - King Ahasuerus (Esther 2:21-23 CSB). At some point, Esther was crowned Queen of the kingdom and everything was good - for a time. There was a man named Haman who thrived off of pride, power and greed. He was promoted to a higher position by the King and while the royal guards and everyone of importance bowed down to him in reverence, Mordecai, did not.
In his anger, Haman plotted to kill every man, woman and child of Jewish descent because, to him, killing Mordecai alone was not enough. Upon Mordecai hearing the decree, he went before Queen Esther and begged her to make a choice that would either save her people or destroy everyone, including herself. For three days, the people fasted and prayed for favor as the Queen prepared to go bravely before her King. On the third day, Esther, not only prepared a dinner for the King but she invited the man who plotted the murder of her people. She stood bravely before her audience, and exposed Haman, putting an end to a genocide that never started.
I love this story because it shows me that in a world where women were kidnapped and forced to participate in beauty pageants for a King; in a world where men reduced women to nothing but looks and curves, a world where Queens were dethroned for standing their ground and were killed for going before the throne without permission, Esther stood for something that was greater than her and all she said were five powerful words: “If I perish, I perish.” She understood that in the midst of men who wanted nothing more than to devalue her and keep her silent, she had the opportunity to change a generation of lives and she didn’t let the threats, or the “what-if’s” hold her back, she held firm. She didn’t let the status quo of what a lady should do, dictate how she lived her life. Instead, she trusted that God had a greater purpose. One that, maybe, she couldn’t see. She trusted that, maybe, God placed her in her royal position, “for such a time as this.”
“If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come from another place... Who knows, perhaps you have come to your position for such a time as this.”